Dosage guidelines - Touch Grass Institute

A balanced lawn, every day

The guideline dose for a healthy adult is built up across the day from the activities below. Every figure is calculated, not estimated, on the Institute's reference lawn of 30,000 blades per square metre, so the numbers climb quickly once you commit.

Activity	Blade-seconds
Palm flat on a lawn, one second The starter dose: 240 blades under one palm. Tell nobody, if you like	240.00
Barefoot walk, five minutes About 600 blades underfoot at any moment. Watch for bees	180,000.00
Rolling down a hill, ten seconds Brief, but intense. Clinically: wheee	75,000.00
Sitting on the grass with a sandwich, fifteen minutes The sandwich is not a grass, but it helps	2,700,000.00
Lying down, looking at clouds, thirty minutes Equal to the starter dose taken daily for 308 years	27,000,000.00
Touching grass in VR See TGI-155. Nice textures, though	0.00
Telling someone else to touch grass See TGI-138. It comes back on you	-500.00
Your daily allowance	29,954,740.00

When to take grass

Acute

Ranked tilt

Three losses in a row. A jaw you did not know you were clenching. Take one barefoot walk, immediately, and do not queue again until the grass says so.

Acute

An argument past 2 a.m.

If you are typing a fourth paragraph to a stranger, put the phone face down and place a palm on any lawn within reach. If none is within reach, that is a second finding.

Chronic

Mirror dwelling

More than four hours a day facing your own avatar. Prescribe one sandwich, sitting on the grass, with no reflective surfaces in view. Ponds count as mirrors. Avoid ponds.

Chronic

Knowing the server tick rate but not the weather

Step outside. That is the weather. Repeat daily until you can describe it without checking an app.